Category Archives: Coping after cancer
One year older, and I want a reset
I turn one year older today, April 22, and I’m wishing I could go back to the year where I left off —before I was diagnosed. I want to reset time to when I was 32, and try to live … Continue reading
What’s a waste?
We’ve all heard these statements in some shape or form. “You’re in your 30’s (or 40’s) and have no children? You’re wasting your time.” “You still believe he/she will change? You’re wasting your time.” “You’re still talking about cancer even … Continue reading
Walking away from ‘emotional cancers’
It’s not really possible to simply walk away from cancer. At least, I don’t find it possible. But I’m wondering — is it possible to just walk away from other toxic parts of life? I’ve realized that I need to … Continue reading
A lesson from an elevator
Lately I’ve been anxious about aches and pains. Always worried about a reoccurrence, even after the tests and MRIs come back looking fine. Although I know we are all going to go one way or another, I am not one … Continue reading
I let her decide
I’ve been seeing a survivorship therapist at MSKCC for the last couple of months. We mostly talk about my challenges with survivorship — how I’ve been dealing with my caught-between-two-worlds identity crisis, about feeling unsafe, and about grief. But we … Continue reading
They said I was ‘normal’
Sometimes I find it difficult to believe it when my doctors call me ‘normal’. They aren’t just referring to my survivorship challenges but also to my current physical health. Why can’t I just hold on to the good news and … Continue reading
Somebody stop me before I tell the truth
A late side effect of my cancer diagnosis is that I seem to have lost my filter for my words and actions. It has gotten worse recently. It doesn’t matter where I am or who I am speaking with. Where … Continue reading
The small c 