Category Archives: Self Awareness
2018: To hope or not to hope?
I have a complicated relationship with hope, and it all started with my cancer diagnosis. Now, when I say “hope” I don’t mean it in the positive-thinking-cliché type of way, but in the sense of having a purpose or having … Continue reading
It’s not about you
I am going to write about a topic that’s just bizarre to me. It has to do with people who make your cancer all about themselves. It’s a tricky topic to talk about because, as someone advised me, I could … Continue reading
My Babadook
(This post contains spoilers about a recent movie.) I took some extra time off from work during the holidays to recharge. 2016 was a very tough year all around. I was looking forward to doing fun things to distract myself … Continue reading
My Caregiver
I feel like I’ve taken my caregiver for granted. I know he is always there, waiting to please me. Always aware of my struggles and trying to comfort me in every way he can, even when he himself doesn’t have … Continue reading
“Kiddo”
Here’s something about me: I love interacting with old people. If I get invited to a gathering, you’ll always see me talking to the older crowd. Being someone who was raised by her grandparents, I always had an appreciation for … Continue reading
What’s a waste?
We’ve all heard these statements in some shape or form. “You’re in your 30’s (or 40’s) and have no children? You’re wasting your time.” “You still believe he/she will change? You’re wasting your time.” “You’re still talking about cancer even … Continue reading
I let her decide
I’ve been seeing a survivorship therapist at MSKCC for the last couple of months. We mostly talk about my challenges with survivorship — how I’ve been dealing with my caught-between-two-worlds identity crisis, about feeling unsafe, and about grief. But we … Continue reading
Another moment of forced exploration
As I was getting ready to fall asleep, a thought entered my mind. I turned to my guy and asked, “what if I decide to stop Tamoxifen? Leave everything aside and just live my life?” His response? A very long … Continue reading
The small c 